Epiphany
by Joyyce
Summary: Takes place in New Moon. Alice has a vision, Edward returns to Forks to save Bella. What happens? Of course, SM owns the characters, I'm just fooling around with them xD
1. Chapter 1 EPOV

*Would love to own the characters, but nope, they're all SM's!*

_[AN]  
Okay... this is just a story I made up. I have read a lot of 'Edward comes back to save Bella'-stories, but I always had the feeling that something was missing.  
So, I tried to write one myself! Please read and review. I usually don't write stories longer than 3000 words, this is one of my attempts to a story that is longer.  
It'll change POV quite frequently, seeing as I'm writing it in both POV's (Edward & Bella), maybe I'll do someone else's POV too, but I haven't made my mind up about that yet.  
[/AN]  
_

**Edward Point of View**

Bella was standing at the edge of a cliff, staring out in front of her. "Forgive me" she said. And just like that, she jumped. Then, everything went black.

Why was she trying to kill herself? Why would she do that to Charlie? Why hadn't she just moved on? If my heart were still capable of beating, it would have stopped beating in that very moment. If Bella was dead, my life no longer had a purpose. I know I left her, I told her I didn't love her anymore, but the truth was… I still loved her… Every day I loved her more than the previous, I missed her more than the previous. And it kept on getting harder for me to stay away. But now, it seemed I had to go to her before she jumped. I couldn't let her kill herself. Not because it would leave me feeling guilty, that's something I had been feeling ever since I told her all the lies. I couldn't let her do it, because I didn't want her to do die without knowing how I really felt.

"Alice? How long?" I knew Alice would know exactly what I meant. "One day, at the most, probably less. Hurry. You can still make it."

That was something she didn't have to tell me twice. I had made up my mind. I would go to Bella, save her before it was too late. I knew that she might not believe me when I told her I loved her, but I had to try. And even if she refused to believe me, I wasn't going to let her kill herself. I would save her, no matter what it took. So I jumped in my car and headed to the airport. I booked my tickets,

The entire flight I had trouble sitting still, it didn't go fast enough. I couldn't believe this was the fastest way to get there, it seemed to go so slow. Finally, after a whole lot of stress on my part, I made it to Forks. I didn't hesitate in running across the border, Bella meant more than the treaty, not only to me but to my entire family. I could smell the stench of the wolves, but I ignored it.

_[AN]  
I could really use your opinions on this! Please review *Pouts*  
[/AN]_


	2. Chapter 2 BPOV

**Bella Point of View**

I'd had enough of my so-called life, I couldn't do it anymore. Even though suicide wasn't the death I would have expected for myself, not being the accident-prone klutz I am, at this point it was the only way for me. I didn't blame him for leaving me, how could I? I still loved him, as I always would, no matter what. He would always be perfect to me, even though he didn't love me anymore and left me because of that. At least he still had a chance at happiness. He could find someone new to love, something that was impossible for me. I would only ever love him.

And that's exactly why I couldn't live my life anymore. I was miserable, and that was making Charlie miserable in turn. I couldn't stand it anymore, I couldn't watch Charlie hurt because of me. I knew my death would cause him hurt too, but I had explained my reasons in my letter, I had explained that dying would make me happy. I had apologized for the hurt it would cause him. I had emphasized how much I loved him. I had thanked him for everything he had done for me, for loving me, for caring. And I had once again apologized, for the pain my death would cause him. I wished one thing for him, something I had never mentioned to him. I wished for him to find love again.

I knew he still loved my mother, but I also knew he and my mother weren't soul mates, and that my father loved my mother far more than she loved him. Now, why did that sound so familiar? My father still had his chance at happiness, and I wanted him to be happy. I knew he deserved it. I understood why my father wasn't looking for someone else, he felt it would be like betraying the love he shared with my mother. He couldn't let go. Well, that seemed to be a family trait. I couldn't let go of… him… either. He was, in all ways possible, my soul mate, even though he didn't believe he had a soul.

Our love story – though short – was something that could not be forgotten. At least not by me, the fragile little human. Rosalie was right all along, imagine that. I don't wish that I had never met him, I valued those few happy months more than I could ever value a life without him. I had never thought someone could love another as much as I loved him, but I had proven myself wrong. The memories were my most prized possessions, but they were also my most painful possessions. They hurt me more than anything else, but they were of more value to me than anything else could ever be. Therefore, I would never trade them for anything, except maybe the option to just not come across anything bearing his name.

I had put all of the books which had a name similar to his in the back of my closet, a place I would never look. I couldn't bring myself to throw them away, something I just couldn't understand. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that it still felt as if something of his – if only his name – was still with me. He had taken my heart with him, however broken it may be, but as I drove my way to La Push, left my car a mile or two away from the cliffs, and walked the rest of the way, I could feel myself getting excited. Yes, I was excited to make the suffering end. The first thing I was excited about since he left me, and it would be my last.


	3. Chapter 3 EPOV

_[AN]  
Soooo, thank you so much for the reviews EzmerEzmarelda Elizabeth MacKlintof, Ellie829 (double thanks to you!) & iole01. I'm so glad the story pleased you so far! I can only hope I don't dissapoint. I have to admit, I'm afraid of doing just that. I was very much surprised by the number of people who added the story to their favorites and/or want to be alerted of new chapters etc. I have to admit, I never quite expected people to like it, but I'm so glad you do!  
[/AN]  
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**Edward Point of View**

Bella was already standing at the cliff when I saw her, still quite a distance away from me. I ran faster than I thought possible, driven by the need to save her. I was still running when I screamed "Bella. Don't do it. Please", desperation clear in my voice. I was closing in on her now. I heard her say 'Forgive me', before watching her take a step forward. I grabbed her arms before she could move any further to the edge, pulling her backwards. I turned her around to face me as soon as we were away from the cliff. I would have run across the border again, but I didn't want to take any chances. If I pulled her on my back while I was still dragging her away from the edge, I would most likely hurt her. I figured I had done enough of that already, and that knowledge alone made me feel… shattered and even more broken than I had been since the day I left her.

When Bella opened her eyes, the first thing I saw in there was surprise, but next… there was an emotion I had never seen so clearly in her eyes before. She was furious. If I were still physically able to cry, I would have burst to tears the moment I saw that in her eyes, even though I knew that it was my fault. Everything was my fault. I tried not to let any emotions show on my face, but I couldn't keep it out of my voice when I answered her question. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm making sure you don't do something stupid." My words sounded hurt and angry even to my own ears, and it seemed that Bella noticed that too, because the next thing I knew, she was sobbing. I just kept holding onto her for a while. She was crying by now, and it hurt me to see her this hurt. I could faintly smell wolves in the distance, and I knew we had to get across the border, right now. "Bella, I'm going to have to take you away from here now, across the border line." I spoke softly, trying not to upset her any further.

I didn't want her to be out of my sight, so I didn't put her on my back, I just held her in my arms before I started running. I decided to go to the house, just in case the wolves were to start attacking. It would be safer to be around the house, where the others would arrive soon too, no doubt. Of course, if the house were to be damaged in said fight, Esme would be sad. And mad. It would probably make her want to participate in the fight more than Bella being in danger. Well… maybe not that… but she would be more inclined to fight. Not that it was sure that it would come to a fight, the treaty was broken in order to save a human life. That was a fact they could not just ignore. That was a fact that would make an attack unjust.

I had barely noticed how close I was to the house by now. From the scents it seemed that my family members had all made it back to Forks. Alice must have informed them all, and seen something in the future that would request their presence. Whether that something is a good thing or not was still the question, but I couldn't bring myself to care. All that mattered was the angel in my arms.

As soon as we entered the house, Alice was there, jumping up and down, being her usual self. "Well… at least someone's happy" I thought. I didn't recall Alice ever being unhappy, at least not since she'd been with our family. Her eyes were gleaming, and Bella was smiling at her. How I loved that smile of hers.

_[AN]  
I'm not quite happy with the way I ended this one... Sorry 'bout that... I'm an extremely difficult person to please, especially by myself and as far as my writing is concerned. I find Edward to be an extremely eloquent person essentially, therefore it's far more difficult for me to write things from his perspective, but I do hope it's not THAT bad. Please let me know if it is, I will do my best to alter it then.  
Sooo... these past few chapters have been added without a day in between them. I would like to continue doing so, but unfortunately my school life will not permit it. I have exams coming up soon, and since I'm in college, I'm afraid it will demand most of my attention. I will try to post the next one(s) as soon as possible. The number of review just might influence it *HINT*_

_Well... Thank you for reading, and I hope you still enjoy the story![/AN]_


	4. Chapter 4 BPOV

_[AN]  
I would like to emphasize that I do NOT support suicide in any way. And I don't think SM does either.  
I'm not quite happy with this chapter – again, yes… *sigh* - so I might be re-writing it sometime.  
[/AN]_

**Bella Point of View**

I was standing at the edge of the cliff, with my eyes closed. The storm was coming, fast. That would make my chances of surviving even smaller. I smiled. This was the only way for me. I couldn't live anymore.

"Bella. Don't do it. Please." Of course I would hear his voice again. I hadn't really thought of that. I mumbled "Forgive me" and took a step forward, still with my eyes closed. When I felt someone grabbing my arms and pulling me backwards, and turning me around. Startled, I opened my eyes. What I saw – or better: who I saw – startled me.

I don't know who I was expecting to see, but him? No, I sure as hell wasn't expecting him. "What are you doing?" I hissed, annoyed. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm making sure you don't do something stupid." The way he said the words… he had never talked to me like that before. There were so many emotions in the words, none of which I could describe. I couldn't bring myself to look into his eyes, afraid of what I might see there. I tried to get free from his hold, but he wouldn't let me. I started sobbing.

I don't know why exactly. Probably partly because he was actually here this time, partly because I still wanted to die, knowing he would probably leave as soon as he was sure I wouldn't try to kill myself again. As much as I loved the fact that he was holding me, that he was really here, acting like he cared and all, I dreaded the moment he would leave again. If he did I would not make it through one day. I would end up at the cliff just like I had today.

Edward was holding on to me in the mean time, probably afraid – with good reason – that I would fall down as soon as he released his hold on me. "Bella, I'm going to have to take you across the border line now." he said softly. I just nodded, I knew why he had to go across the border line. I didn't want the wolves to attack him, I really didn't. I loved him too much, despite the pain he had caused me, and most likely would cause me again.

He pulled me into his arms, and started running. I didn't close my eyes, I didn't need to. I couldn't see much anyway with the tears streaming down my cheeks. After a while we made it to the house. As soon as we were inside, Alice was there in front of me, bouncing like crazy with a huge smile on her face, squealing like she always did. I had to smile a little at that. My first real smile in months. Impressive achievement, especially since Alice wasn't really doing anything to try and make me smile, she was just being her – extremely bouncy – self.


	5. Chapter 5 EPOV

_[AN]  
So... next chapter! I have included a lot of insight in Edward's thoughts here... I hope it's better than last chapter anyway...  
[/AN]_

**Edward Point of View**

I could see Bella was deep in thought until Alice told her "Bella! You're coming with me! You can't stay dressed like that!" "_And I sooooo need to talk to you" _she added mentally. I raised an eyebrow at her. _"I'm glad you saved her, but have you seen the way she looks? She's in desperate need of new clothes and someone to talk to! And I need my best friend!"_ Alice was right of course… Bella didn't look too good, and I doubted she actually talked to someone about what she was feeling, seeing how she was going to kill herself. I gave a small nod, and Alice immediately dragged Bella to her room.

I couldn't bring myself to leave the house, especially knowing I couldn't avoid knowing the conversation Alice was going to have with Bella. The rest of the family was bound to think about it at some point, and I'd rather hear what they say firsthand. No matter how much it might hurt me. I stood by the window, focusing solely on the conversation Alice was going to have with Bella, ignoring the thoughts of the others.

"We're not leaving again. Well, not for a few years. We're all finishing school here, and I promise we'll stay in touch – at least that – when we do leave. If you don't decide to come with us, that is" _She really doesn't believe me. I wish I could just show her the vision… Too bad she's not the mind –reader here…_ I saw the vision of Bella as a vampire again. Somehow it didn't make me feel angry anymore. After having 'lived' without Bella for so long, after coming back to a Bella who was about to commit suicide because of something I had done… I would rather have her soulless than buried.

"I can see that you don't believe me. I can't say I blame you. But even though **he** lied to you, I would never do that." _I could never do that. _I knew she was still mad at me for forbidding her to keep contact with Bella, but she did understand. A bit. Once I had asked her what she would have done if it was Jasper who was the human that almost got killed so many times, because of his relationship with her, she seemed to understand a bit, but she didn't approve. I needed to know if she could still love me, if she still wanted to love me. I knew I had never stopped loving her, and I knew I would never be able to, but since Bella **is** only human, I didn't know what to expect.

For Jasper's sake, it was a good thing that Alice told him to go hunting with Emmett and Rosalie. I didn't really see why she sent him too, but seeing Bella at the cliffs, seeing the amount of pain she was in, the amount of pain **I** caused her, I was starting to see the reason. I knew Jasper had a hard time coping with the pain I was feeling, so when confronted with two people in immense pain, he would probably not be able to cope any more. Alice's first priority always was Jasper, despite what the others may think.

I really wanted Jasper present at the moment, I wanted to know what Bella was feeling. I needed to know whether a part of her might still love me, but I also knew this was a mess I made myself, and therefore I was the one who had to clean it up.


	6. AN 1 APOV?

**AN 1**

_So sorry to get al AN-y on you! _

_But I was thinking about an Alice point of view of the conversation with Bella._

_Since Alice is now officially involved, it might be convenient to see __**all **__her thoughts –even the thoughts that Edward will not see (he's focusing too much on the conversation itself, and his own thoughts about it to actually pay that much attention to Alice's thoughts. To him, that's not the most important part either. He wants to know what's going through Bella's head more than ever, and the only way to know that – part of it – is by paying attention to everything she says. Or doesn't say, we'll see!)_

_I would like some more reviews too! :D  
I'm more than happy that some people are faithfull reviewers (if I could thank you by sending you a box of chocolate, I would! :D)  
But according to the story traffic, there are a loooooot of readers who don't review :(  
_


	7. Chapter 6 APOV

_[AN]  
Okay, so… I decided to do the Alice Point of View too! Partly because I really wanted to, partly because some very nice people (who know who they are ^^ Thanks again!) have requested it.  
_

_This part might be a bit confusing, but to clear up the air:  
the italic text shows her thoughts, also read by Edward (and therefore reoccuring in the Edward POV). Let's just say those are the thoughts that are the loudest, therefore Edward only hears only those, being completely focused on his own thoughts and the conversation itself.  
[/AN]_

**Alice Point of View**

As soon as I had the vision of Edward bringing Bella to the house, I was so happy that I started jumping up and down. It had been months since I was last happy, not even shopping could bring me joy, and that's saying something!

Once I saw them enter, I ran to Bella, still jumping up and down. I couldn't pretend not to notice the way she was looking. I had never seen her look so bad, not even when she was in hospital after the whole James-business. The fact that she actually smiled once she saw me, made me happy. Maybe we could get her to be her normal self. It would take a lot of effort, but it would be worth it. Only then did I notice what she wearing. At least her fashion sense hadn't changed… Still, I couldn't bear to look at her outfit, so I decided a small make-over was in order. Yippie!

"Bella! You're coming with me! You can't stay dressed like that!" "_And I sooooo need to talk to you"_ I added in my head. I didn't fail to notice Edward's raised eyebrow. Typical. _"I'm glad you saved her, but have you seen the way she looks? She's in desperate need of new clothes and someone to talk to! And I need my best friend!"_ There! He couldn't deny that! Well, at least not the part about her needing someone to talk to. Edward nodded, and immediately after that, I started dragging Bella to my room. I told her to sit down before I started the conversation I was going to have with her. Part one: convince her we're not leaving her; Part two: try to make her see Edward's idiotic conversation with her in the forest before he left was built up out of lies; Part three: make her believe me, and make her see the fact that no one – especially not Edward – ever stopped loving her. Rosalie doesn't count of course, but she'll come around. Eventually.

"We're not leaving again. Well, not for a few years. We're all finishing school here, and I promise we'll stay in touch – at least that – when we do leave. If you don't decide to come with us, that is" I winked at her, trying to convey the fact that I had not foreseen any scenario in which we would leave, let alone without her. Her face told me all I needed to know, she looked torn. It looked like she was trying to find a lie in my eyes, trying to stop herself from even hoping we would stay. _She really doesn't believe me. I wish I could just show her the vision… Too bad she's not the mind –reader here…_ I couldn't stop myself, I looked for a Bella-Vampire vision again, and it was still rock-solid. I smiled mentally.

I had to try to make her see I was telling the truth. And being me, I couldn't leave a little 'Edward lied to you' out of it. I just really wanted those two to get back together! And soon too! At least I already knew "I can see that you don't believe me. I can't say I blame you. But even though **he** lied to you, I would never do that." _I **could **never do that._ I was still angry at Edward for making us leave because he was being an idiot, but he just couldn't be reasoned with.

_ [AN]  
I've always rather enjoyed writing from Alice's Point of View, but usually she's just this over-happy person who squeals and jumps, and smiles all the time (in essence, of course there's more to her!), which is why this is quite difficult. She starts out very happy, but ends up being rather serious. Of course, Bella isn't in a very good condition emotionally nor physically, which doesn't go unnoticed by Alice – of course, what **does** go unnoticed by her?_

_  
Anyway, I hope you guys like it. Oh! And another very nice reader has pointed out that it was possible to enable anonymous reviews, so I've done just that! Thanks again!_

_Ooooh, by the way! I've actually managed to write a few chapters in one day yesterday, so I might be able to AND get through my exams, AND not have you guys waiting far too long to my liking![/AN]_


	8. Chapter 7 BPOV

_[AN]  
Sooooo... Next chapter! Makes sense that it's a Bella POV? Of course it does! I've already posted an Edward and an Alice POV! Yay!_

_I would specifically thank everyone of you fantastic people who read this story, and those of you who review, thank you sooooo much! I love reviews! I adore them! They're soooo cool ^^_

_Well, enough of the nonsense xD I hope you like this part :)  
[/AN]  
_

**Bella Point of View**

I almost got the feeling nothing had changed. Of course I knew that wasn't true, the hole in my chest was still there. I felt bad for Jasper, having to feel all of the pain I was feeling. At least he wouldn't have to feel the amount of pain I'll be in as soon as they leave again. Though I didn't understand why all of them would be back in Forks if they were going to leave again. And I absolutely didn't understand why the house looked exactly the same as it did the last time I saw it, except for all the decorations. Alice seemed to appraising my appearance. It was a normal thing for Alice to do, but I didn't like it."Bella! You're coming with me! You can't stay dressed like that!" Without any warning, she dragged me towards the stairs.

Of course that would be the first thing Alice notices… I frowned. What was the point of dressing up? Who was there to dress up for? Edward? He made it quite clear that he didn't want me anymore, so dressing me up wouldn't make a difference anyway. Still, Alice was pulling me along as she went up the stairs, towards her room. Everything looked exactly the same as it did before they left. It confused me even more.

When we arrived in her room and she had me sit down, Alice spoke again, more serious than I had ever seen her."We're not leaving again. Well, not for a few years. We're all finishing school here, and I promise we'll stay in touch – at least that – when we do leave. If you don't decide to come with us, that is" She winked at me, making me think she had already had a vision concerning this. Not that it made me feel better. Nothing could make me feel better at this point. Her words confused me though. Sure, it was nice to see Alice behaving like nothing happened, like she hadn't disappeared from my life for all those months. I forced a smile. "I can see that you don't believe me. I can't say I blame you. But even though **he** lied to you, I would never do that."

I could tell Alice meant her words to be comforting, but really… she was only making me even more confused. I never thought **he** would lie to me, but he did. He lied to me over and over again by telling me he loved me. Why would I believe her when she told me she would never lie to me, and therefore wasn't lying to me now?


	9. Chapter 8 APOV

**Alice Point of View**

Bella was looking at me with a very confused look on her face. Were it not for the seriousness of the conversation, it would have been hilarious. "You're confused… Why?" I knew why she was confused, of course, but I needed to see and hear how she would handle the possibility that Edward lied to her in their last real conversation – though rather one-sided.

"I… What… He lied?" she looked both confused and pained at this moment. I don't think any of us really understood the pain she was in, except for Jasper. Maybe he could make Edward see that leaving her didn't only cause **him** pain, but her too. He needed to understand that human feelings weren't as different from ours as he seemed to believe.

He always said he loved Bella far more than she loved him, but had he asked Jasper, he would have heard the same thing I did. The love Bella was feeling, and probably still feels, was no different from the love Edward feels for her. Of course, now Jasper will probably only feel a whole lot of pain and confusion from her, maybe even fear, even if she still loves Edward.

I knew I was watching her warily. I didn't know what to expect. I hadn't had a vision of this conversation, because I hadn't thought of what I was going to say to her. "What did he lie about? The fact that he loved me? I already knew that, Alice He made that clear enough himself. Anything else?" Bella was starting to get mad now. For all the wrong reasons, I may add. I knew what he had told her all those months ago, because he **did** prepare his little speech. When I saw that particular vision, I was livid. Not even Jasper could calm me down then. He had to literally hold me down, or I would have murdered my dear brother.

"No Bella. That's not what he lied about. That's the lie itself. He could never stop loving you even if he wanted to." Bella obviously didn't believe me, it was clear on her face. At that point I could hear someone walk up the stairs, and since it was Edward's scent, I decided to make myself scares. "But that's something he needs to talk to you about himself." Bella's heart rate went up, and I could see the panic in her eyes, but they needed to figure this out on themselves. So when I heard Edward approach the door, I opened it to let him in, and left to go downstairs at the same time. It was out of my hands now.

_[AN]  
A short chapter here... next one will be longer! I promise!  
I hope you like it all the same!  
Last Alice POV too.  
[/AN]_


	10. Chapter 9 EPOV

_[AN]  
Okay, today my exams have officially started, and I haven't even written the next parts, so I'm very sorry to have to say the next parts will be coming... slowly... but surely! I AM finishing this story!_

_I don't think it will take more than 3 chapters - Bella, Edward, Bella - to finish the story, but it's possible that it'll become five, I'll see!_

_It is possible that I'll be posting another one of my short stories during my exams, since writing often helps me sleep. I've got two stories that need to be typed. One of which really needs a lot of work in my opinion. I'm not sure if I'm ever posting that one! I'll see about that too ^^_

_  
But back to the chapter underneath! I hope it's not a disappointment. I'm not too happy about it :( Once again. I'm predictable xD  
[/AN]  
_

**Edward Point of View**

As soon as Alice spoke again, my focus was once again on the conversation she was having with my Bella. "You're confused… Why?" I could very well imagine how adorable Bella must've looked in that moment. She was exceptionally adorable when she was confused. Of course I didn't want her to be confused, but I could understand why all too well. It was my fault, once again. Did I ever cease to have negative effects on her? I had nearly gotten her killed on countless occasions. I had hurt her so many times, each time even worse than the last it seemed. What was next? Was I going to cause her such an enormous amount of pain that it would kill her? Literally?

I knew, if she would take me back, even despite all I'd done to her, she would want to become a vampire. She would want to go through the pain of the change, far worse than anything she could ever imagine. But I just didn't know where I stood at the moment, and even though the uncertainty pained me, I knew I deserved far worse. I was the cause for my pain. But what was far worse than that, was the knowledge that I was responsible for her pain too. And that was something that could've easily broken my heart, had it been possible. I had almost forgotten the question Alice had asked Bella, until Bella answered it.

"I… What… He lied?" I could hear the disbelief in her tone. It was in this sort of moment that I wished for the ability of reading her mind more than in others. What did she think I lied about? And why did she sound so incredulous about that? I always told her I wasn't as perfect as she thought I was. True, it pained me to lie to her almost as much as it pained me to see that she believed me without a second thought, but I knew it was something I just had to do. I couldn't **not** give her the chance at a normal life that she deserved. I knew the way I did it was wrong, but it was the only way I could think of.

The silence between them seemed to last an eternity. I knew Alice wouldn't be thinking nice things towards me at this point, so I decided not to look into her thoughts. "No Bella. That's not what he lied about. That's the lie itself. He could never stop loving you even if he wanted to." How right she was. But that was something I needed to talk to Bella about myself. So I went up the stairs to Alice's room. I knew Alice had heard me come up as soon as I heard her say "But that's something he needs to talk to you about himself." She knew why I chose that point to come upstairs, even if she didn't see it in advance.

She opened the door just as I reached it, leaving herself as soon as the door was opened. Bella looked at the floor as soon as she noticed me standing there. Her heart rate was unusually high for someone who hadn't performed any physical activity.

"I think it's time we talked." She just nodded, but didn't make a move apart from it. I however, didn't particularly want to have this conversation with most of my family listening in. I needed it to be just the two of us. "Would you mind if we went to your house?" I couldn't help the hesitation that crept in my voice as I spoke. I really didn't know what her answer would be. I didn't want to have this conversation in a house full of vampires who would hear every word. I would have preferred to go to the meadow, but it didn't seem suitable for the conversation we were going to have.

She seemed to be thinking about my request for a few seconds, but she gave a small nod. "I'll drive us." I wouldn't mind running, but the weather was changing rapidly, and I didn't think she'd want to anyway.


	11. Chapter 10 BPOV

_[AN]  
I'm soooooo sorry it took me so long! I've finished my exams on Thursday, after having a headache for 5 days. I was out all day yesterday, so I didn't have time then, so I'm posting now._

_I know it's a short one, but I hope it's still okay.  
[/AN]_

**Bella Point of View**

Alice had just been watching me while I was processing her words. "You're confused… Why?"

Just then her words came back to me. "Even though **he** lied to you." Wait, what did that mean? I was confused enough already. "I… What… He lied?" I knew he had lied to me, he had already made that clear enough when he left me in the first place, but she had to have known about that. So what was she talking about exactly?

Alice didn't seem to plan on responding any time soon, which truthfully said, made me a little angry. Obviously this was a conversation she wanted to have with me. So why shouldn't she answer my question? "What did he lie about? The fact that he loved me? I already knew that, Alice. He made that clear enough himself. Anything else?"

Alice frowned at me, looking at me as if I was missing something very important but very obvious, something I should have know myself, something she wouldn't need to tell me about. It practically made me feel downright stupid. Gee, thanks, as if I wasn't already feeling enough.

"No Bella. That's not what he lied about. That's the lie itself. He could never stop loving you even if he wanted to." Well, that obviously wasn't what I expected. And another something I just couldn't bring myself to believe, no matter how believable she made it sound. "But that's something he needs to talk to you about himself" she said. My heart rate went up immediately. Before I knew it, Alice opened the door to reveal Edward, and walked out of the room. I didn't want to face him, but I knew I had to. Alice had planted thoughts in my head that needed an explanation only he could give me.

"I think it's time we talked." I knew that's why he came up here, but it still made me nervous. "Would you mind if we went to your house?" I really didn't know, to be honest. I didn't really want to be alone with him, but I didn't want three eavesdropping vampires hearing everything I said. So I nodded, but I couldn't help but wonder how we were going to get there. Had they left the cars here? Had they taken them with them, but driven back here? Had they left them wherever it was they went? Or was there no other way to get to my house than to allow myself to be carried by him – yet again? I wasn't as happy as I used to be at the thought of physical contact."I'll drive us." I almost let a sigh of relief escape. At least he wouldn't have to carry me.

_[AN]  
Sooo… I __**really**__ want the next parts to be good, so it might take me a while to actually post them. I just really want it to be the best I can make it, so __**please**__ don't shoot me if you have to wait, I promise, I__** will**__ post it!  
[/AN]_


	12. Chapter 11 EPOV

_[AN]  
Sooo… finally managed to find the confidence needed to get this one out.  
I hope you like it, if not.. I'll re-write.  
[/AN]_

_**Edward Point of View**_

We went downstairs, keeping a distance between us at all times - somehow she managed not to trip. Had her clumsiness disappeared somehow? – and went outside to the garage, where my Volvo was. She managed to trip over the nearly non-existent threshold, but she didn't fall down. Still, she seemed to be as clumsy as ever it appeared. I had always rather liked her clumsiness. I liked being around to catch her when she fell, even if I neglected my duties for the past months. I would never forgive myself for leaving.

I opened her door for her as I'd always done, and got in myself as soon as she was seated. The drive to her house didn't take long. She didn't wait for me to open the door for her, instead she got out herself. I felt a stab in the heart when she did that, I had wanted to help her out as I always did, but since I had brought it upon myself, I deserved it.

Next thing I knew, we were sitting in the living room at Bella's house. She was looking down at her hands. She didn't speak, so I decided I should just start.

"Will you promise to hear me out? I know you don't owe me anything, but please, let me get this out in the open?"

Bella seemed to be deep in thought, probably wondering what I wanted to say to her and whether she could truly keep quiet, no matter what I was going to say.

"When I… left… I lied to you."

The confused look on Bella's face was enough to tell me I needed to explain that further.

"Don't you see Bella? Ever since your life collided with my… existence, you've been in constant danger. I nearly killed you the first day I saw you. James nearly killed you because of me. I never should have brought you to our baseball match. I should have managed to keep you safe without making it the most challenging game ever for James. I should have protected you myself, made sure you were really safe. I never should have given that job to Alice and Jasper.

"Knowing that made me feel guilty, immensely so, but the fact that one of my own family actually attacked you… that was something I could not handle. Jasper's guilt often washed over us as he thought back to it, but it was in no way comparable to my own. My being in your life has caused your life to be in danger every second of every day.

"I couldn't bear the thought of you being in any further danger because of me. If I had believed there to be any other way, I would have never left you…"

As I was speaking, I couldn't bring myself to watch her. Instead, my eyes wandered about the room aimlessly, not seeing anything. There was so much more I wanted to say to her, but I needed to know what was going through her mind first. I needed to know if there was any way she could… not forgive me… but at least understand me. Understand why I did what I did.

_[AN]  
I mean it! Don't like it? Let me know! Like it? Let me know too! Really need to know whether it needs to be re-written to be as good as it can get or not!  
[/AN]_


	13. Chapter 12 BPOV

_[AN]  
I'm soooo sorry for the long wait! So, so, sorry! I've spent most of my time reading, since the writer's block had attacked again :(  
[/AN]_

I'd never been so intent on keeping my balance as I was the entire way to the garage. And I'd succeeded. Until a threshold that was barely there managed to make me trip. I didn't fall down though, I merely lost my balance for a few seconds. I was more than happy that I didn't need to be caught by Edward.

He opened the door of his car for me like he used to, but I managed to see the reason behind that. It was merely because he was born in a time in which it was important for men to be a gentleman, nothing more. However much I wanted there to be more to it, I couldn't afford to hope.

I wasn't exactly paying attention during the drive to my house. My mind was being haunted by all the things he could possibly say to me that would make the hole in my chest extend even more. I wanted the conversation over with, but that didn't mean I was looking forward to in any way.

When we eventually made it my house, I quickly unlocked the door and walked into the living room, so I could at least be the least bit comfortable. I couldn't bring myself to look at him though, so I opted for watching my hands instead. The silence between us lasted a couple seconds longer, before Edward spoke.

"Will you promise to hear me out? I know you don't owe me anything, but please, let me get this out in the open?"

I didn't know if I really wanted to hear everything he said, but I could at least try, couldn't I? So I nodded.

"When I… left… I lied to you."

What could he possibly mean? Ever since Alice mentioned the same thing, I tried to think of what it meant. Edward was quiet for a while before he explained.

"Don't you see Bella? Ever since your life collided with my… existence, you've been in constant danger. I nearly killed you the first day I saw you. James nearly killed you because of me. I never should have brought you to our baseball match. I should have managed to keep you safe without making it the most challenging game ever for James. I should have protected you myself, made sure you were really safe. I never should have given that job to Alice and Jasper.

"Knowing that made me feel guilty, immensely so, but the fact that one of my own family actually attacked you… that was something I could not handle. Jasper's guilt often washed over us as he thought back to it, but it was in no way comparable to my own. My being in your life has caused your life to be in danger every second of every day.

"I couldn't bear the thought of you being in any further danger because of me. If I had believed there to be any other way, I would have never left you…"

Didn't he see that I was in danger on a daily basis anyway? Didn't he know about the visit from Laurent? The threat that Victoria still was? Didn't he see that he tried to accomplish something that was impossible?

_[AN]  
Next chapter will probably be Bella too, since she's going to be the one doing most of the talking…_

_Well, I hope this chapter was okay… Reviews please, because they please me more than hits do, and I really, really need to know if it's worth your time to read!  
[/AN]_


	14. Chapter 13 EPOV

**Edward Point of View**

_[AN]  
I've got this feeling I'm starting to falter, as I'm sure you'll back up. Sorry again for making you week a whole week! I've had this part written for longer than just today, I just kept being very… self-conscious about it, as I always am with what I've written. It's… weird, the way I feel about this one, but I hope I'm not letting you down…  
By the way, while I'm at it, I'd like to thank you guys who make me sooo happy with each review, especially those of you who've reviewed (just about) each chapter, I'd hug you if I could!_

_Anyway… please do go on and read the chapter itself *angelic face*  
[/AN]_

Bella remained quiet for a while, making my stress level rise with every second that passed. She seemed to be pondering what I had said, judging by the expression on her face. Finally, she raised her head and looked me in the eye.

"You say all that, and well.. I can't deny the facts in there, obviously, but… if it weren't for you, I would be dead anyway. If you weren't there, the van would have crushed me. If I had not been at the baseball game or the nomads had not heard you play, there was still the chance that at least one of them would smell me. Then what would have happened? If anything, you saved my life more often than you endangered it."

Bella took a short break there, probably to catch her breath, as she had been speaking without breathing very often. It was obvious that she hadn't rehearsed a speech, but it did sound as if she had given it a lot of thought in the past.

I wish I could tell her for certain what would have happened if things had gone differently as far as the nomads are concerned, but since Alice had never seen a future in which we did not confront the nomads or one in which Bella was not present at the game - unless she had hidden those from me -, I was unable to answer that question, even if it **was** a rhetoric one.

"It's not as if you and your family are the only reason my life is ever in danger. If anything, there was less danger of me ending up dead while you were around. I didn't fall down nearly as often as I did before I met you. There are plenty of ways to die because of a fall you know, and I personally think it's a miracle that hadn't happened already. But really, you called me stubborn, but have you looked at yourself? You keep insisting every bad thing that happens to me is your fault, however little you have to do with it, and however often people tell you otherwise."

She was right. I was stubborn too. But I couldn't change my character, deep down I knew I had the tendency to blame myself for everything that happened, but it wasn't something I was able to change. That was something I had learned a long time ago, but that knowledge didn't change anything. I refocused on Bella herself as soon as she started speaking again.

"I don't think you could even blame yourself for my nearly jumping off the cliff. It was a choice I made by myself, fully aware of the consequences, you didn't force me to. Therefore, you had nothing to do with it. Don't even bother telling me you don't feel guilty about that. I do know you quite well… I think."

No matter how difficult it was to actually admit it, I actually agreed with most of what she said. But that didn't mean it was easy for me to formulate my reply. It took a while before I found the right words to say, and even then I couldn't help but doubt it was what she wanted to hear. I just knew it was what she needed to hear.

_[AN]  
Since the end is fast approaching – though I'm still not sure what it'll end with precisely, and how many chapters it'll take for me to get there – I would like to remind all of you who read this, but aren't very inclined to review, to do so anyway, reviews don't have to be long, you cán give your opinion in one sentence – or even less, one word! 'Like', 'Could've been better', 'Unsure what to think', 'Okay', 'Not the best chapter' (as I already know this is far from the best chapter, that would be a bit redundant), all are examples of things you can put in a review, that would help me out in one way or another.  
It is essential for a writer to know what readers think about the writing they produce, as it is for me too. So if you are willing to give me your opinion, I would be so grateful!  
[/AN]_


	15. Chapter 14 BPOV

_[AN]  
Riiiight! Well, the end is near! But unfortunately… so are my resits. So I'm going to be spending even less time writing the next couple of weeks :( Sorry about that, but I do know my priorities, and I will put them in the right order xD  
Anyway, I felt like I should warn you._

_I hope you will enjoy this chapter. writing is becoming exceedingly difficult for me, I know where I'm going, but I also know that I don't want the story to go out like a balloon. Scrunched up and with little air left in it.  
[/AN]_

**Bella Point Of View**

I didn't really know what to think, his words kept repeating themselves in my head. He left me because he thought his being in my life brought more danger to it than there already was? For someone as smart as he was, that was… well… a very un-smart way of thinking. And I planned to tell him just that. Only… more subtle and in other words. I looked him straight in the eyes, took a deep breath and started talking, letting the words come to me naturally.

"You say all that, and well.. I can't deny the facts in there, obviously, but… if it weren't for you, I would be dead anyway. If you weren't there, the van would have crushed me. If I had not been at the baseball game or the nomads had not heard you play, there was still the chance that at least one of them would smell me. Then what would have happened? If anything, you saved my life more often than you endangered it."

I had to stop to catch my breath. I knew convincing Edward that he had never caused my life to be in more danger than it always had been would be tricky, but I had to try.

"It's not as if you and your family are the only reason my life is ever in danger. If anything, there was less danger of me ending up dead while you were around. I didn't fall down nearly as often as I did before I met you. There are plenty of ways to die because of a fall you know, and I personally think it's a miracle that hadn't happened already. But really, you called me stubborn, but have you looked at yourself? You keep insisting every bad thing that happens to me is your fault, however little you have to do with it, and however often people tell you otherwise."

He was starting to see sense, I could see it in his eyes. I didn't give him much time to process what I had just said, knowing he didn't really need it, being a vampire and all. I wanted to finish my little speech before I found another reason to believe he was acting as if he still cared only to hurt me again. If I wanted to get through this, I had to stop thinking like that.

"I don't think you could even blame yourself for my nearly jumping off the cliff. It was a choice I made by myself, fully aware of the consequences, you didn't force me to. Therefore, you had nothing to do with it. Don't even bother telling me you don't feel guilty about that. I do know you quite well… I think."

I took a deep breath and continued watching him. I could see he wanted to say something, but he seemed to be searching for words.

_[AN]  
Well… thank you for reading, I can only hope you'll bear with me till the end here, and be so kind to review. (Yeah, yeah, I'm a nag, but what can I say? I love reviews, and reviewers ^^) Sooo ^^ Virtual Chocolate Pie behind the review button ^^  
[/AN]_


	16. Chapter 15 EPOV

_[AN]  
I actually found time to write! Still two exams left to resit, but I'm taking the rest of the day off today. Had one today and yesterday, I'm exhausted._

_So, this is actually the last chapter in Edward Point of View. I didn't want to drag it out all too much. I hope you like it.  
[/AN]_

**Edward Point of View**

I stared at the floor with my eyes closed. I didn't want to see the hateful expression on her face that I knew would appear there at one point or the other.

"Well then, you're not the only one who makes mistakes. But I've made so much more then you ever could… And the worst of all was leaving you. I don't expect you to ever forgive me, I don't expect you to be able to love me ever again. I don't even expect you to ever want to talk to me again. I just… I needed you to know the truth. I wanted you to let go, I wanted you to have a normal human life. I wanted you to grow old, have children, grandchildren even, and be happy. I needed to keep you safe from the dangers my existence meant to you."

"I can't begin to explain how much I regret it. If I could change what I did, I would, but as if is… All I can say is this: I love you. It's a terrible excuse for what I've done, but it's the only reason for it. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you, I've never felt the need to protect someone as much as I do with you. I know now that I went about it the wrong way, and I'm truly sorry for that.

"I really would understand if you told me to just go away and I would do as you ask me to."

I nodded to myself, without looking up. Bella didn't react in any way, I didn't hear her move, I could barely hear her breathe. I didn't expect anything from her, that was true. But I couldn't help but hope… hope that there was some way she would still feel something for me. That there was hope. Maybe not in the near future, but somewhere…

I sat there for a while, still as the statue, still as the corpse I should have long been by know, focused on the quiet, barely-there sound of Bella's breathing.

"I should go. Charlie's going to be back soon."

I hesitated when I heard her heart skip a beat. I hadn't noticed until then how much I had actually missed that simple sound. I never wanted to leave her side again. I never wanted to be without her again. But this wasn't about what I wanted. What I wanted was what got us in this mess in the first place.

I stood up, but as soon as I did, Bella spoke. Her voice fierce.

"No. Don't you ever dare leave me again. Don't you dare. You don't get to tell me you still love me, that you wished you'd never left in the first place, and then just leave again."

My eyes snapped open as soon as the 'No' came from her lips. I turned my eyes to Bella and noticed the quiet tears that were streaming down her cheeks.

"I don't know if I can truly trust you ever again. But I love you far too much to not want to at least try. I owe myself that much. I owe **us** that much."

If my heart were capable of beating, it would have skipped a beat of its own in that very moment. Bella took a deep breath and I saw the fierceness in her eyes change to a painful sadness.

"Never leave me again."

I was finally able to smile again.

"Never."

And as I walked towards her and put my arms around her, I realized just how serious I was. I would never hurt her again, I would never leave her willingly ever again. I knew I would still had to hunt, but I'd find a way. Anything I needed to do to be able to stay with her at all times, I would do. Anything I could do to make up for the pain I had caused her, I would do. Anything that would make her be able to trust me again, I would do.

I wanted - needed - to make Bella happy. Nothing else mattered to me anymore, not now that Bella was back in my life the way she was meant to be. The way I was meant to be in hers. And I somehow knew that we would be okay in the end. We would be happy together again. Forever, if she wanted to. I was no longer making decisions for her, I would abide by her wishes, wants and needs. And I would continue loving her for the rest of my existence.

_[AN]  
Since this really is an extremely important chapter, I would love to know what you think. I know the importance of the ending, and even though I'm quite happy with this myself, doesn't mean you are too. And if you aren't, please do tell me what should be different.  
[/AN]_


	17. AN 2 Responses to Ending Please

_[AN]  
Well! I'm slightly breaking the habit I guess. An actual update for an author's note alone!  
Buttt… I've got a reason. And I bet you'd like to know what that is?_

_Well. As I said, there will actually only be __**one**__ more chapter after this, the Bella point of view.  
But I still haven't had much of a reaction of the previous chapter, which is causing me holding off on writing the Bella point of view, because… Well… If I get a lot of negative response, I would have to go on and alter two chapters, and I'm lazy, I guess…_

_Besides... I'm working on a couple of other stories now, and while I'm at it, I'd like to introduce you to them:_

_**Summer Love Story**__, collaboration with Miss_Miii.  
The Cullen Cabin is the most wanted place for the Summer, but when they try to decide who to take with them, fate intervenes and things get messed up. Will the Summer still be great, or will things get screwed up while they deal with their pasts? AU/AH_

_**The truth is a lie**__  
When Royce King II is found dead, Detective Jasper Whitlock is called in to help the investigation because of the high priority of the case. It seems to be simple, but is it really? And will he end up finding more than just the person responsible? AU/AH_

_I love you guys._

_**Special thanks to all of you who've been following this story and the faithful reviewers (the most frequent ones being iole1, DanielWhite and Ezmeralda Elizabeth MacKlintof, thank you guys! Y'all get imaginary ice cream for that! :D)**_

_Joyyce  
[/AN]_


	18. Chapter 16 BPOV

_[AN]  
Well.. this is it! Last chapter! It's shorter than Edward Point of View, I know, but I still hope you like it  
[/AN]_

**Bella Point of View**

As I watched Edward sitting there with his eyes closed and his head bent, I couldn't help but notice how vulnerable he looked in that moment. And when he started to talk, it became all the more obvious that he felt vulnerable too.

"Well then, you're not the only one who makes mistakes. But I've made so much more then you ever could… And the worst of all was leaving you. I don't expect you to ever forgive me, I don't expect you to be able to love me ever again. I don't even expect you to ever want to talk to me again. I just… I needed you to know the truth. I wanted you to let go, I wanted you to have a normal human life. I wanted you to grow old, have children, grandchildren even, and be happy. I needed to keep you safe from the dangers my existence meant to you."

I sighed inwardly, did he never see that I didn't need all that, that he was the only thing I would ever need, but continued listening without saying a word.

"I can't begin to explain how much I regret it. If I could change what I did, I would, but as if is… All I can say is this: I love you. It's a terrible excuse for what I've done, but it's the only reason for it. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you, I've never felt the need to protect someone as much as I do with you. I know now that I went about it the wrong way, and I'm truly sorry for that.

"I really would understand if you told me to just go away and I would do as you ask me to."

What? He expected me to want him to leave? Had he really lost his mind? My breathing felt labored, as I thought of living without him again. I didn't want to imagine it, I couldn't take it. The pain I'd felt when he had left me was nothing compared to the idea of him leaving again. I wouldn't be able to handle it. I didn't **want** to handle it.

I didn't hear Edward move at all, and when I looked over at him, I noticed he wasn't even breathing. He surprised me when he finally spoke, but not in a good way.

"I should go. Charlie's going to be back soon."

I felt my heart skip a beat, fearing he wouldn't come back. I was unable to speak for a minute, but when he stood up, I said the first words that came to mind, surprising myself by the fierceness that was in them. I didn't know I was able to talk in that fierce tone.

"No. Don't you ever dare leave me again. Don't you dare. You don't get to tell me you still love me, that you wished you'd never left in the first place, and then just leave again."

His seemingly surprised eyes snapped to mine as I talked, but I was concentrating more on keeping the tears at bay. As I felt the wetness on my cheeks, I knew I had lost the battle.

"I don't know if I can truly trust you ever again. But I love you far too much to not want to at least try. I owe myself that much. I owe **us** that much."

I needed to stop myself from full-out sobbing, because I wasn't done talking yet. There was one thing I needed to say still. One thing I needed to be clear.

"Never leave me again."

As soon as the words were out, I managed a small smile, the first real smile in so long.

And as he answered me with a firm "Never", I finally felt the hole in my chest disappear, bit by bit, and be replaced by happiness, which was only enhanced when he walked towards me and put his arms around me. The tight embrace made me feel safe, loved, and whole. My life felt right again, and right then, I knew we would be okay.

_[AN]  
Well… thank you for reading (and reviewing) this story, I hope you enjoyed it, and aren't too disappointed in the shortness of the chapters. I'm still learning, this is the longest story I've ever written so far, and that's saying something, I believe._

_Love you all,_

_Joyyce  
[/AN]_


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